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Looking For Diogenes

Hold myself,
     Like I’ve never held myself before
Stand up straight
     Like I’ve never stood before
And I’m wondering,
     Where I’ll find myself,
          When I’ve found me tomorrow
And I’m wondering,
     Where I’ll lose myself,
          When I’ve lost me tomorrow

I expand into the thousand-fold reaches of the universe
I collapse into emptiness
I drift into the million stray thoughts of insanity
I fall into me
And this is how I wander
And this is how I search
And this is how I bleed,
     For any light like me

Watch myself
     Like I’ve never seen me before
Define myself
     Like I’ve never known me before
And I’m waiting
     For something better
          Like nothing from the past
And I’m waiting
     For something more
          Like everything from the past

Realized of nothing, and holding out forever
Seeking of something, and believing in never
And looking, with emotions held out
And looking, with fear held close
And this is how I wander
And this is how I search
And this is how I die
     For any shadow like me